odzer’s blog

Last night as I sat with a friend we began discussing how Indians deal with Milk. I have a feeling that a lot of people especially housewives spend the better part of the their day just struggling with Milk. Those who have not ever been in India would not of course know of this fascinating obsession that most of North-India has with the white liquid. So I have decided to split this post on how both rural and urban Indians have a rather milk centric life.

Rural India:
5:00 Am: Wake up and milk the buffaloes and cows.
5:30 Am: Feed the animals
6:00 Am: Make a fire outside in the wood stove to boil the milk.
7:00 Am: The man of the house leaves to sell the milk.
8:00 Am: Go to the fields to get fodder for the animals.
10:00 Am: Chop the fodder in a hand rotated machine.
(Many people lose their limbs while doing this; it’s not such an uncommon sight in villages to people missing the good old right hand)
11:00 Am: Churn the milk; separate the buttermilk and butter.
12:00 Pm: Send the buffaloes out for their daily bath.
1:00 Pm: Use the churned butter to make clarified butter
(This is a particularly noxious process and makes the whole neighbourhood stink. It is done in cities as well by some people)
2:00 Pm: Serve lunch with loads of fresh butter.
3:00 Pm: Fight with the neighbours about your cattle trespassing on their land.
4:00 Pm: Collect the buffaloes and bring them home.
5:00 Pm: Feed the cattle again.
7:00 Pm: Start boiling the milk for making yogurt
8:00 Pm: Mix in the yogurt culture and leave it to set.
9:00 Pm: Serve the leftover milk to the whole family to drink.
10:00 Pm: Check on the cattle and sleep.

Urban India:
Most urban Indians are nostalgic about the time they have spent in villages and remain strongly connected to their milky ways. So how does your average urbanite spend his or her day?
6:00 Am: Wake up and stand in a line outside your favourite milk dairy.
Or
7:00 Am: Wait eagerly for the milkman to arrive.
7:30 Am: Complain for at least 10 minutes to the milkman about the quality of the milk.
8:00 Am:  Boil the milk.
9:00 Am: Force your child to consume at least 400ml of the nauseating stuff that is passed off for milk in cities.
10:00 Am: Refrigerate the milk.
11:00 Am: Complain to the maid about her dish washing skills and how doesn’t clean the milk patila (sort of a utensil used to boil milk) properly and how it still has milk stuck to it.
12:00 Pm: Make a cup of tea from the previous days leftover milk for yourself and the maid.
1:00 Pm: Make sure the maid has left when you churn the cream in to butter.
2:00 Pm: Serve lunch makes sure use loads of butter.
3:00 Pm: Drink Lassi, a yogurt drink that you prepare yourself.
4:00 Pm: Drink Chai with loads of milk, force your child who is now back from school to have yet another glass full of milk.
5:00 Pm: Wait for the evening milkman.
(Yes some people actually have two!)
5:30 Pm: Complain to the evening milkman about how the morning milk is far better than his!
6:00 Pm: Boil milk again.
7:00 Pm: Refrigerate the milk.
8:00 Pm: Heat milk for setting yogurt.
9:00 Pm: Force the whole family to consume one glass each of the precious liquid.
10:00: Have a nightmare about having left the milk unrefrigerated and wake up to check on it.

As for me I use milk out of a carton just like ‘normal’ people do! I guess that makes me dull and boring by most accounts. I can’t really remember when I actually drank a glass full of it but I do use it in my tea. I purchase a carton of yogurt and a packet of butter. So not all Indians are milk crazy. However I think the milk obsession occupies almost hysterical proportions in this country. So much so there are whole seasons when milk just vanishes and you cannot lay your hands on it. I think a lot of Indians even if they suffer from lactose intolerance will drink huge quantities of it in the belief that it brings them good health. Milk also has huge sexual connotations for people here; most Indian people relate a glass of milk with having sex somehow or better performance. Even though a lot of people think of themselves as ‘vegetarians’ in India they will happily drink ounces upon ounces of milk and consume milk products rather happily. Sometimes just to tease them I ask them “What do you think happens to male calves?”…..