The great Indian goli.
Some days ago I wrote a post about Indian love with Milk. India is also a country that loves its sweets. One of the most interesting aspects of Indian culture is the “Goli” or the “Mithi Goli”. Perhaps as with everything I write on it is only confined to the part of the country where I live but nevertheless for the sake of convenience I will address it as a uniquely Indian characteristic. A “Goli” usually in Indian parlance refers to a candy. However it also has another sweet meaning, it is something that can be vaguely described as behaviour or words that are used to escape from an undesirable act or situation. The easiest way to understand the Goli is to perhaps to give an example in its most western equivalent, the classic “Your check is in the mail.” Or “Don’t call us, we will call you.”
However Indians take this art to a new high. You can come across it almost on an every day basis. Companies use it, people use it and even the government seems to pass a Mithi Goli now and then. When my Dutch business partner and I started working together to set up an outsourcing business in India we came across the goli so much that soon even my Dutch partner started to recogonise this term. We made deals with many IT companies who promised us efficient, time bound delivery. Nothing of course ever came out of such deals. Every time they had a new excuse for not delivering on time and wanted more time. Some lied to us at the beginning that they were equipped to handle the work but later we discovered that they had no such capabilities. Slowly we learned the ropes after opening an office for which we had employees, which managed to slip us some golis as well. At the end I have perfected a system in which is nearly goli-proof.
However in my personal life things are not always that perfect. I am still golied at times. Take for example this huge Indian bank who wanted me to set up an account with them. They called me up and made an appointment. I waited and waited and no one showed up. The next day they called and pretended as if nothing had happened the previous day and again sought an appointment. I again gave them the time and this time I get a call around the time when their person was supposed to visit me and the woman on the phone says :
“Sorry our executive is a bit late”
I reply, “I do not want to do anything with your bank anymore, If I can not even trust you with an appointment. How can I trust you with my money?’’
End of conversation….
A while later the phone rings again and its her again and she has the nerve to tell me that they were only a little late! However this is just a small instance. In the month of December I purchased a new air conditioner. The guys sent by the store where I purchased it installed the air conditioner. When I tried to use it a few weeks ago it did not work. I called the people who installed it and they passed me to the store. The guy at the store passed me on to the company in question who manufactured the product. The company shrugged me off saying they did not install it. So I was tired of all this wrangling and decided to get my neighbour to send me their air conditioning people. They arrived and did another shoddy job. Now I had no option but to keep chasing these people and so I began calling them. Every time they answered and told me they would be at my place in ten minutes but no one ever showed up. I must have called close to 100 times in 4-5 days. Sometimes there would be no answer. Finally they got the message that I would not give up and demanded more money to fix something that they should have taken care of in the first instance and I was so aghast at their attitude I wanted to throw them out but I had no option but to use them because I wanted to hold them accountable. So I used them and paid them a bit more.
Now I am not saying that people do not lie, cheat or loot people in other countries by any means. What I am saying very clearly is that in India it happens more often than anywhere else that I can think of. I have never been cheated and lied to so much anywhere other than here. So the next time someone here assures you that it would be done, think twice. Although you will have no choice but to take their word, do not be completely sure that they will ever deliver because the art of Goli my friends is perfected here. This is the reason that India will never be a developed country — ever! Do not be taken by any propaganda that you may hear otherwise. If people do not stick to deadlines or if they do not deliver as they promise how can you ever trust them? Sure they are cheap but ultimately the charm of cheap wears off.
